BERT IS EVIL!!

We have reason to believe that Bert of Sesame Street is evil and you should keep your children away from him. Here in these pages are collected incriminating images and documents that prove that Bert is not the lovable harmless geek he so successfully makes us think he is.

A rarely seen Photo of Hitler with his favorite General During World War II, General Berhtolomue Kieffer III lead the SS in the burning of the Reichstag. He is known to be one of Hitler's most diabolical Generals. We have reason to believe that he is either a clone or an ancestor of Bert.

Innocent bystander or conspirator?

In this rarely seen photo, we see Bert standing in the side lines a few seconds before the assassination of John F. Kennedy. We have sources who claim that Lee Harvey Oswald and Bert were friends in Korea. Though no proof directly points to Bert's involvement in this ghastly shard of history... we wouldn't be too surprised if he was.

The Michael Jackson Connection
The Root of MJ's Evil.

Our investigators recently uncovered this old photograph of young Michael Jackson standing with Bert who is fondling his pelvic area. It is now clear where Michael Jackson's pedophilia stems from. Bert molested him as a child. He is only releasing frustrations and fears that have welled inside his mind for years.

This is the original box of the "Tickle Me Elmo Doll"

During the early drafts of the Elmo doll idea. This Prototype was released. It was designed by Bert in hopes of teaching little kids to shoot up and extending his target market for drug trade. The plan was halted by Children's Television Workshop and was replaced with a more commercially viable doll.

A picture from Ernie's photo album

In this photo we borrowed form Ernie's photo album, we see Bert smoking marijuana. He was very active during the 70's and was once seen with famed mass murderer and lunatic Charles Manson. He was even rumored to have been with Manson and his cult during the murder of Sharon Tate.

Bert and the KKK

It has long been rumored that Bert was part of the Ku Klux Klan. Latest evidence show that he IS part of the Klan, but more surprisingly, some evidence points to the possibility that he is a founding member. The Klan's pointed cowl was actually patterned after Bert's head. In these photographs, Bert is seen at the burning of the crosses ritual.

The Lost Segment from the Pamela Lee Honeymoon Video

During the honeymoon of Pamela and Tommy Lee, the couple went off to the desert to film themselves in a torrid orgy with Bert, (an old drug buddy of Tommy). It was actually Bert who stole the tape and distributed copies of it. Bert edited out the segments that showed him in the video to avoid his incrimination. Tommy and Pamela continue to deny their association with the muppet due to the fear that he might hurt them.

Monolith from Easter Island

A monolith found on the edge of Easter Island known to the natives as "The One that Devours" or "The Evil One" has been found to have an uncanny resemblance to Bert, This image was sent in by Wout O Matic. He allegedly took the image during his last holiday. This photo is further proof of Bert's evil dating back to the dawn of civilization.

Bert at Woodstock

Here is a photo of the mass hysteria of Woodstock, we see a man who looks alot like Bert. Though nothing is evil about Woodstock, this photo at least proves that Bert is not wholesome.